PREGNANCY is a time to let my skin glow, hair shine and think encouraging, positive thoughts. Since this is my 3rd pregnancy and I don’t give a shit about what people think, here’s what PREGNANCY stands for me lately :
P is for Pissed Off that I keep peeing when I sneeze. It takes every ounce of muscle strength in my nether regions to stop the urine flow. Thank goodness for panty liners.
R is for the Ridiculous expectations I have of myself. I recognize they are utterly and truly ridiculous expectations and yet, I still get angry that I haven’t done what I set out to do for the day, week, month, year or decade. Also, I need to stop comparing myself to pregnant supermodels because, well, that’s just RIDICULOUS.
E is for Energy sucking little vampires I grow in my belly. Will I turn into a vampire after I give birth like Bella in the Twilight series? I hope so.
G is for Grumpy because I’m not sleeping throughout the night. I especially love it when she decides to do a crazy roll when I’m in deep sleep. It’s startling at first, then sweet and then I’m up for an hour. This routine happens about 3-5 times a night. I wake up grumpy and annoyed.
N is for Nausea. Do you remember that feeling of wanting to throw up from a crazy hangover, but can’t? You try and try to gag yourself with your fingers so you can induce vomit but sometimes it just doesn’t work. Anyway, that’s the way I felt for a little more than half of my pregnancy. The constant hangover that just won’t go away.
A is for Anesthesiologist. Why? Because I’m hoping and praying that this time my anesthesiologist will not deliver my baby. “Nurse, can you please check her?” the anesthesiologist asked. The nurse responds, “she’s fully dilated.” The anesthesiologist clapped his hands and got up from his chair, “LET’S DO THIS.” EXCUSE ME. OMG. Where is my OB?! He went home to eat dinner with his wife!! To be Continued… Will save this labor and delivery story for another post.
N is for Nipples from my 20s that I wish I can have back. Will discuss later.
C is for Compare. Again, do not compare myself to Amal Clooney and Beyonce.
Y is for youth. My long lost youth, how I miss thee. Anyway, missing my youth just makes me want to live in the moment because I don’t want to be 60 years old wishing I was 40 again. Going to enjoy my present right now. Just like I did on Saturday when my closest and dearest girlfriends threw me the most amazing Baby Sprinkle Soiree! They opened up their hearts, creativity and home. Friends gathered to celebrate the upcoming birth of my little baby girl! Surrounded by flowers, yummy food, great conversations and amazing energy. Can’t help but to feel so lucky and grateful for all that I have!
Whoa, that ended on a happy note. I really didn’t expect that. Anyway, this was quite therapeutic for me, so I’ll see if I can post more PREGNANCY related posts before baby arrives. Thanks for taking the time to read this! xox, The Illustrienne